The Biew

Aloha kākou and Happy Aloha Friday. How about a little comedy tonight? Something to start the weekend off right. The very finest in political incorrectness and stupidity from the left. Let’s open the show with our theme song, “Comedy Tonight.” Something for everyone, there’s comedy tonight.

A funny thing happened on the way to the Biew. The cackling yentas couldn’t keep their balloon knots shut long enough while issuing an apology for libeling Turning Point USA. It’s one thing to smear a public figure, it’s another when these paperweights attempt to smear young people attending a conservative event. The Biew accused Turning Point USA of “embracing” Nazis. “you let them in, and you knew what they were. So you’re complicit,” said the overstuffed moonpie. Turning Point USA neither let these people in nor knew who they were. I suspect they were FED’s wearing KKK sheets and Swastikas.

The over-stuffed Biew hosts willfully smeared Turning Point USA organization by falsely claiming that they were tied to and welcomed alleged “Neo-Nazis” into the event. Woopie “moonpie” Leadbrick (aka Caryn Johnson) and Joyless Blowhard kept opening their pieholes and breaking wind during an apology for libeling young high school and college students. Four times the producers tried to issue an apology, a half-assed apology no less. The ABC producers of the Biew finally had to place a ball gag in Moonpie and Blowhard mouths to keep them from furthering digging a larger lawsuit hole.

And now… a commercial Public Service Announcement break from our sponsor, Kamal “breath” Harris.

Kamal looks down to check color of suit. “My Pronouns are She and Her, I am a Woman Wearing a Blue Suit.” She has pronouns. Her warning to America is that she’s a women, oopsy, a birthing person, and birthing people are getting pregnant everyday and we must make haste.

Florida Talk Radio host Mark Kaye breaks it all down for us.

Make Haste? Women are getting pregnant everyday, and that’s a key issue. Says Kamal breath Harris. Mark Kaye attempts to decipher what Kamala was trying to explain. It’s like listening to Karine Jean-Luc Picard explaining that we’re not really in a recession, but we are in a transition recession.

But wait, birthing people could be men? Right? Isn’t it discriminatory not to include pregnant men? I was told that in the list of Heinz 57 genders, that men are capable of getting pregnant.

Michael Simmons’ doctor tells him he’s obese and needs to lose some weight – but the patient has the perfect comeback: he’s pregnant! See, I told yeah. Men can get pregnant. Never question the science again.

Tucker Carlson decided to put the top four suggested new names for monkeypox.

1) Hunter Hives

2) Midterm Variant

3) Adam Schiffillis

4) Schlong Covid.

And Now … The Winner.

Everybody on the left called the Communist “Chyna” Covid virus racist because President Trump rightly called the virus by its origins was from Chyna. Now the LGBTQ mob wants the name of monkeypox changed because they say it’s homophobic. Despite the the majority of people [bi-gay men] getting monkeypox are getting monkey sex with other people [bi-gay men].

Season one of the January 6th Inquisition has ended. But Season two is set to start in the Fall. Watch the romance bloom between communist Jamie Raskins and Liz Cheney. Prepare to cry with Adam Shitzinger when he bursts into tears once again. Truth or Lies with Adam Schittface. Be amazed when Benny Hill Thompson breaks into dancing the ol’soft shoe as Mr. Bojangles. It will be a Block Buster new season of the January 6th Inquisition. Don’t Miss An Episode of Season Two. DVR it so you’ll never miss an episode.

The January 6th Inquisition. What a show and we wish it would go away. Along with Cheney, Shitzinger, Raskins, Schitt, Thompson, and the rest of the crooked crew of dirty Marxist democrats and RINO’s.

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Mostly cloudy with isolated afternoon showers. 40% chance of rain this afternoon. Tradewinds are from the east at 8 mph, gusts 23 mph. Cloud cover is 65%. Visibility is 10 miles. We got NO precipitation in the rain gauge overnight. Temperatures are in the upper 70s. Humidity is at 84%. Barometric pressure is 30.08 inches and dewpoint is 71°. UV index 12. Air quality Index is at 15. Readings taken at 12:05PM HST.

Iulai Iwakālua Kūmāiwa, 2022

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